This post is Andy’s fault! Of course, I could have ignored his tag, but what’s the fun in that especially since I know ALL of you are so interested in reading the reasons. The fun part is to decide who I want to answer the question (aka tag). Of course, I could be a complete jerkwad and pick some bad blogs and say, “So tell us why the hell ARE you blogging? Get off my Internet!” but that would be mean, so I won’t.
Five Reasons I Blog
1. Year Of The Sheep
Everyone else was doing it and since I was born in the Year Of The Sheep then it makes sense that I follow blindly. Besides, I love it when a dog nips at my heels, I get zapped with a cattle prod and some big, strong man holds me down to shear me.
2. Staving Off The End Of The World
Because of the high demand for my brand of humor, if I didn’t give people a place to find me then mass riots and chaos would ensue bringing down governments, malls and the porn industry. This would expose the dark underbelly of our society, so by blogging, I’m saving the world as we know it. You’re welcome.
3. Blogging For Illumination
As the late Doug Henning (with whom I shared my birthday — he’s dead, not I) said, “Magic is illusion and illusion can be magical”. Of course, he said that while wearing overalls with a unicorn (“They took my freakin’ kidney!”) on the chest — but I digress. Let’s substitute blogging for magic and we get the same effect. We are in essence creating our own world with living, breathing characters called letters and we are the master of that domain to control, create and ultimately destroy like the spiteful, vengeful blog god we all are. We control this world. The letters must do what we say! We’re the god! WE’RE THE GOD!
…or is it all just an illuuuusion?
4. For Me
Interestingly enough, I’m glad I waited on this as Heather and I had a long talk at HDW’s birthday party about how much of our ego is wrapped up in our blogs. All of us who blog have our egos in our blogs. Anyone who says differently is in denial. You are putting yourself out there in some aspect which involves your ego. The degree of that involvement obviously depends on the blogger. Heather asked me if I get upset when no one comments and I answered honestly — only when I’m proud of what I’ve written say with the “Life Through A Peephole” post. Not many commented on what I thought was a good satirical piece and it bugged me a little, but then I don’t want to put a big sign up on the posts that I like saying “please comment as my world will end if you don’t tell me if you liked this or not”. That’s what the ‘favorite posts’ section is for. So, yes, I like feedback (to answer Heather). The blog is for me to try my hand at comedic writing (this is all on the ‘about’ page). Basically, everything on this blog has made me laugh, think or both and that’s why I do it for me. Oh, yes, blogging is extremely cathartic.
5. For You
Yes. You. You who are Time’s Person Of The Year. You, who helped Baraka Obama decide to run for President. This blog is for you as well. Any blog that claims to be a humor blog is NOT just doing it for themselves. Sorry. Comedians are whores. We WANT attention and none of my comedic friends best be denying that. So, yes, I blog to not only make myself laugh, but because it’s a public arena, I want you to laugh, too. That’s why I act goofy. That’s why I’m in a comedy troupe. That’s why I blog. There is no drug known to mankind that gets me higher than working hard for comedy and it succeeding. The best feedback is laughter especially if it’s typed out in some indecipherable acronym. LSHTMICOMN!
…and now for those to tag. Hmmmm… checking my blogroll… it should be people who I haven’t discussed this in depth with… I would like to hear why Heather, Spooky (because I want to see animated pictures of his reasons), Mr. Fantastic, Hayes and let’s see… someone new… Ah! Misfit Duck all blog. Plus — I’m not finished yet — I would like to hear why Lorne DOESN’T blog. Lorne, you can leave your five reasons in the comments section.
This has been Evil Howard signing off.
Listening to: Walk Like An Egyptian – The Bangles
No Comment
But you did comment with the ‘no comment’ therefore you didn’t not comment, you commented thus making your no comment a lie.
Liar.
I knew it was a catch 22 when I posted it… I was hoping you wouldn’t catch that ;)
But, for real, I love reading your blog, and getting a new chuckle with each post!
Oooooh, I love a challenge! I will gladly delve into this topic ASAP.
Now then, this is probably an ideal opportunity to express how comforting I find your posts, Howard. Sounds weird, but from the very beginning, it has felt like home. Not only do I learn about my new friend (I think I have a cattle prod you can borrow, fyi) but I have learned so much about my new city here in this very space. WebPen is invaluable to me and spurs on my own comedic urgings. Keep that bar high, St. Howard!
Hoo-boy, five reasons…
Reason #1: Writing is such a chore for me. What little bit I’ve done, I’ve agonized over each and every word (and punctuation mark). In fact, it’s taken nearly 17 hours for me to write these three sentences.
Now I’m pretty sure it’s not easy for anybody, but (Reason #2) I’ve yet to find a good reason to make myself do it. Okay, I’m lazy.
Reason #3: I could never be as funny as you, Howard. Or many of the other blogs I’ve read. I would constantly be comparing my work to others’. I don’t need that kind of grief — I’m just too fragile.
Reason #4: I would drive myself crazy trying to come up with something original and interesting to write about on any kind of regular schedule.
Reason #5: One day, when it’s discovered that blogging causes arthritis and colon polyps, I’ll be dancing around colon-polyp-lessly. But in a sympathetic un-”I-told-you-so” kind of way.
How’zat?
I think #5 reason justifies why Howard asked this question in the first place, Lorne. You sound funny – both funny ha-ha and … er, the other kind.
Hayes & Cliz:
You’re both very sweet, but this blog is all about you! You should say what good people you are as well.
Lorne:
Thank you! Now that you have the record of having the funniest thing on the blog, I guess I’ll stop doing it now. HA! I’m so kidding! ..about stopping to blog. BTW, don’t think I didn’t notice that you didn’t forget the apostrophe on ‘others’.
Brilliant! I can see why it took some time to get round to doing it now – you were milking the laughter cow, every last drop! Straight from the teat – no pasteurisation! :-)
Oh. My. God. Funniest comment evah!
I did it….and it is up!
I’ll check it out!
Thanks, ClizBiz. I think.
And Howard, don’t think I haven’t noticed you admiring my apostrophes.
That’s because I’ve been conveting them.
ok, So I have mine posted. now http://qplog.wordpress.com/2007/02/07/hmmm-5-reasons-eh-why-i-blog/
And, Howard what would those nuns say about sending apostrophes to their convent?
I read it earlier, it’s good. And I think you’re mistaken about the convent. There’s no ‘n’ there.
Anymore…
I’d say the wrong “n” went missing. ;)
My favorite part is when you called my boyfriend a whore in so many words
Ha! Nice one.
Thanks for the Tag, I’m on it
EXCELLENT! Can’t wait!
I can’t believe you didn’t include:
6) I (Howard), blog to have a conductive outlet in which I can bitch about my ailments.
I do this too, so don’t get your feelings all hurt. But admit it: you are so gonna be one of those old geezers who writes ten page letters every week to 2nd cousins in Omaha about hip replacements and root canals. Cause once life starts to REALLY suck thats all there is to talk about. Bonus points if you mention the tree incident to these hypothetical cousins;)
Yeah, just ignore the elaborate scenarios I come up with in my head. But still, your blog does serve as a sort of “sympathy conduit” sometimes ;)